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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Goodlive, Sherrill B Admin Spec I, Advising,
Retent A214 (717) 780-2413
An interesting couple of days.

Firstly, I found out on Monday that everything should be smooth sailing for the transfer from Hong Kong of the money that Mum wants to give me, to help Matt and I buy a house, and to help me go back to college. (Clumsy sentence, I know; bite me.) There are no limitations or taxes that I need to worry about, according to our new financial advisor, Chris Hanshaw at Morgan Stanley.

Chris also came up with some good ideas about how to invest the money. The best idea I have heard is to buy a house in Harrisburg outright, mortgage it, and invest the money. Since interest rates are so rock-bottom at the moment, I'd stand to earn a lot more in investments than I would lose in interest on the mortgage. In August, we'll be talking all this over in more detail.

About fifteen minutes after learning this, Matt called with the news that he was quitting his job. Working with Garth had become just too impossible. These pieces of news complement each other perfectly, and I was most pleased.

Today, the rollercoaster dove downward somewhat. I called Mum in Australia this morning to tell her of our plans, and after about five minutes of talking, she started fervently discussing God and religion. The terms "salvation" and "holy war" were bandied about, and at one point she seemed to be suggesting that she was going to stop the holy war herself, singlehandedly. Everything she said leads me to believe that she is probably on the verge of another bipolar episode.

I don't know what to do. I'm worried about her. I spoke to Dad briefly, but he seemed to think she was OK, although he did mention that she had been "excited" since my last phone call.

That would be the phone call in which I informed her I was going back to college.

If I do something that makes my mother too happy or proud, she winds up in a psychiatric ward. It's happened again and again and again. I'm not blaming myself, or feeling guilty about it. I'm just frustrated. And I'm sad, for her and - truth be told - quite a bit for myself as well. Ah, self-pity, my favorite emotion. I particularly enjoy the aftertaste of self-disgust it commonly generates.

Practically, I'm worried about the money, of course. With the transfer due to happen in late August, there are two considerations:
1. If she's this high now, in the middle of winter, how high will she be just before spring?
2. If she's this high, can she make this decision? Will it come back to bite me in the arse in six months' time, when she reveals she never wanted to give me the money, and was too manic to know what she was doing?

I know the discussion about the transfer has been ongoing for months, and she wasn't at all manic when she first suggested it, but I'm worried.

Last night I earned myself another speeding ticket. For some reason, I couldn't stop crying after I was booked. Kept it up for 45 minutes. Maybe it's because I saw Fahrenheit 9/11 just beforehand. Maybe it was the stress of the HACC placement exam earlier in the day (can't tell how I did - have to call them in a minute). Maybe it was a borg-link premonition about Mum's state of mind. Maybe there's just too much.

I don't know what to do.

Monday, June 28, 2004

D'oh! Don't you hate it when you call someone asking for help, in this case the office of undergraduate admissions, and the information you were looking for was staring you in the face the whole time? And you sound like an idiot with no initiative for calling in the first place?

My only excuse is that it was a very, very _little_ link, right at the bottom of the page.
Degree Requirements: WCU Undergrad. Catalog 03-04

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Office of Admissions
Emil J. Messikomer Hall
West Chester University of Pennsylvania
100 West Rosedale Avenue
West Chester, Pennsylvania 19383
Telephone: 610-436-3411
877-315-2165 (toll-free)
World Wide Web:
Wow, there's a PDF online of the most drug-fucked interview in the world. Reading it makes me miss Manek, particularly since I made a Meow & Monkey CD for Zach yesterday, and ended up listening to those old insane tracks a couple of times in the process.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

I'm obviously entering some sort of new quarter-life crisis. By my count, since I've been experiencing one of these crises every year since just before I turned 20, this is my fourth.

For the last couple of days certain people in the Gamut theater company have been telling me that I ought to audition for their fall production of The Tempest. Telling me in a really suggestive way. In a way that makes me really want to do it.

The problem here is that I promised Matt and myself that I wouldn't do another play this year, in order that we might spend more time together. Even apart from this, since I am going back to college, I simply don't have time to do a play as well as attend school and work full time.

Of course, the next thought in my head was, "Well, why not quit the full-time job?"

I'm still reeling from the consequences of this thought. Terrifying.

Effectively, I am once again having my recurring internal debate about security versus dreams. Do I want to play it safe and continue earning $24K in a glorified office job at a TV station, or do I want to live on the edge doing the things I really want to do? This question comes up in my life again and again and again. I wrestled with it before I quit medicine. I wrestled with it before I gave into love two years ago. It's back for a rematch.

Part of me thinks I am too young to be thinking about settling down. Part of me knows that I'll regret not giving these dreams a shot. Part of me knows that I've survived on less money in the past.

Part of me points out that I just bought a new car, and I'm possibly insane.


Full-time job plus college
Pros: Earning lots of money, will be incredibly comfortable at age 30, will be working towards better position at WITF
Cons: Will probably see Matt even less than I do now, not much time to study and attend classes

Theater plus college
Pros: Dream-chasing = happiness, more time to study and see Matt, able to take classes during the day, able to do more stuff in the area of music, able to ask Gary if he wants me to work part-time as IT person for Theater of the Seventh Sister and help with Harman stuff, earning some money at least.
Cons: Poverty, have to ask Mum for help, losing possibly fruitful job at WITF

I don't know what to do.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

The exciting news (which I am not putting with the post below, because it's above that sort of medical whining) is that I have decided to go back to college. I'm going to get myself a bachelor of arts, majoring in either English or Music, or both. Well, why not? I'm starting at a city college, then transferring to a real university for the final two years, because it's about $15,000 cheaper, and it makes no difference to your final degree. If I do music, I'll major in composition, probably. It's a bit late for me practically, though I am thinking about starting up the opera singing lessons again.

The Fall session of HACC starts on August 23, and I am having a grand time trying to choose classes. The hardest part is that many of the classes I want to take this semester are full, because I have left it so late. But there's always another class that interests me.

As far as in-state 4-year transfer colleges go, I've been given the advice of either Lebanon Valley College or Frankin & Marshall. I'm going to book an appointment with a counselor next week to talk about it in more detail.

Yes, Jason, I am doing it right. Or at least, no different from what I've been doing on an extremely regular basis for the past seven years. Also, I always wee afterwards and wipe front-to-back. I don't use spermicides, and I take showers, not baths. I switched lubricants. I recently changed to a generic brand of the pill, but it's the same pill I've been taking for five years. Believe me, I've done the research, and aside from some sort of urethral abnormality requiring possible surgery, I'm stumped. I've started taking cranberry tablets daily as a preventative measure. Might start up apple cider vinegar caps or something as well. I'm hoping this is just a passing phase, like the 2 years of tonsillitis I endured when I was 15-16.

Also on the medical side of things, this is the second day in a row that I have bitten down on an ulcer inside my lip so hard that it bled everywhere. Charming. It's now the worst-looking canker sore I've ever had in my life. Purple. In fact, I'm slightly worried, as it's starting to hurt less. Perhaps it's gangrenous, and eventually the whole lower side of my face will drop off.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

A customer just told me she thought my accent was Irish. I guess that's what happens when Rs start to creep into an Australian accent. Or maybe I'm becoming a real Dunphy.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Monday, June 07, 2004

Ronald Reagan - bio
Jason's Blog: Musings of a Rambling Idiot
-- I should put this on my links page.
Absoludicrous Video - Straight Up
Laughed myself silly.
Shakespeare's comedy of love and magic runs long, but rarely drags
Patriot News, Sunday June 06, 2004

"Even the background players in this production are noteworthy: the raucous fairies double as musicians and singers, playing rustic but graceful tunes by Melissa Dunphy."

Scan of the article, with picture

I've been working on my webpage a little again. Each night of the show, I've dragged my laptop along for something to do between scenes. It's amazing how much you can get done when you're just working offline, and have absolutely no way of accessing the net. So far, I've added to the Theater and Music pages, though they still need a little formatting work, and I have more to scan and upload.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

I have the post-gig blues after last night's show. Hopefully things will go better tonight. My intonation is all over the place, and I am paranoically convinced that the sound designer, who is working the board, is deliberately being difficult.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

I'm very, very tired, but hanging on. The last two nights have been devoted to rehearsals for Midsummer, which opens tomorrow night. Preparations have been complicated by a car accident involving Mark (Puck) and Amber (Moth on saxophone). Mark was relatively uninjured, but Amber was apparently banged up pretty good. The medical word is that she will be able to perform on Friday night, but she may not be able to rehearse, and to prepare for the worst case scenario, I've been asked to figure out a way of possibly rearranging my songs and pieces. This is doable, but somewhat difficult - seeing as Moth has so few lines in the play, I'd given Amber the majority of the melodies in the songs.

Last night, rehearsal (a little over-emotional) ran until nearly midnight, and the night before until 11:30. I'm kind of floating right now. If I didn't have to perform a show on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights, I'd probably be actively seeking stimulants.

On top of all this, I've been throwing together a hurried Cast & Crew webpage for Romeo and Juliet. I'm stealing most of the ideas from the Midsummer Cast & Crew page. Well, it's not as if production webpages differ much in basic needs.

So tired. Thank goodness for this past long weekend, or I think I'd lose it. I spent at least 50% of my time chilling out, watching films, hanging out at Artsfest, meeting up with actors from Midsummer in a social (smoke-enhanced, impossibly giggly) environment and introducing them to Matt.

Things wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to be up by 7:30am in time to arrive at WITF at 9:00 each morning. 15-hour days (with a hour of driving tacked on each end) are somewhat challenging after a few in a row.
Matt and I in the queue for the midnight screening of Dark Side of the Rainbow, at Harrisburg Artsfest this past Saturday night.