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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Sweeney, SWEENEY

I saw Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd the other night. It was ... okay. I will concede that this musical was written to be directed by Tim Burton, or maybe that Tim Burton was born to direct this musical. And I love the music. But ... as much as I admire Helena Bonham-Carter and Johnny Depp, I just didn't buy them as singing stars. It smacked of Moulin Rouge, which is not to say it was anywhere near as bad as that turd, but smacking of a turd is never a good thing.

What bothered me most of all, to the point where it was all I could hear, and I was gritting my teeth and swallowing hard in an effort not to hiss, was that Depp kept closing off his N's all the bloody time.

"But there's no place like Lonnnnnnnnnnndonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!"

"Not onnnnnnnnnnne mannnnnnnnnnn, no, nor tennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn mennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, nor a hunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndred can assuage me."

Jesus Christ, was there not one real singer on set to tell him that this sounds like balls?

I think the kid who played Toby was probably the best thing about this movie. Him, and the blood. Oh, and Sasha Baron-Cohen's penis.
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