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Friday, October 13, 2006


A couple of days ago, I learned that 'mormoloc' is a Romanian word for a small fish or tadpole. This makes me happy! I'm not sure why.

I listed my violin and viola on Craigslist. I am surprisingly not very sad about this, probably because they are taking up space, and if there's one thing we don't have enough of at the moment, it's space. Well, actually, it's money, but space is next on the list.

I had a funny conversation over lunch with Patrick and Tara regarding our toilet. Matt and I bought our toilet on the cheap at Lowe's. One of the bowls on the shelf was missing a tag, so we asked a manager for its price. He was in a great hurry to knock off for lunch, so after mulling it over for about two seconds, he said, "Well, it's the last one, so I'll just mark it down to $70. Here." We later discovered it was worth a couple hundred. Score!

It wasn't until we had installed it that we realized that we had bought what's known as an "elongated bowl." Elongated bowls are for Americans whose giant, dimpled backsides are so fat that regular bowls are too short to allow them to position their relevant orifices over the water. Our home improvement bible recommends installing elongated bowls in newly renovated bathrooms to comply with "universal" (i.e. accessible by hambeasts) standards.

I am left with the indelible image of a ridiculously fat person desperately trying and failing to go to the toilet in a regular-sized bowl. Shits and giggles, indeed.

(Are you eating, Sheryl?)

Another interesting fact about our toilet is that it can flush something like 27 ping-pong balls effortlessly in one go. Perfect for anyone who poops ping-pong balls, hambeasts who eat a lot of bacon, or unfulfilled Suzie Wong sex acts.
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