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Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The first day of my trip is detailed below.

Today is Matt and my second wedding anniversary!
Me: The second anniversary is 'wood.'
Matt: Wood?
Me: Yeah. Wood. Heh. Hehehe. You got anything made of wood to give me, Matt? Huh?


1) Have you never experienced the divine?
I think everything is, in a way, divine, but there my definition of divine probably deviates from the norm. I think humanity is divine, but how can humanity be 'more than human'? I think happiness is divine, but so is pain. Sloth is as divine as boundless energy. Living is divine; death is divine. It's all greater than us, but we are also divine. There's probably a fat lady wearing tie-dyed cheesecloth in California reading this and nodding her head emphatically.

I think I can say I had never experienced the divine until I was 18 or 19. I caught glandular fever ('mono' to Americans) and was depressed for six months. A micro-organism made me shake off the emotional boundaries I had set for myself all my life. Isn't the thought that parasites can exert some control over your thoughts a little terrifying?

Divinity is also the thoughts flying between my head and Matt's head before we can give them wings.

2) What do you want them to say about you when you're gone?
That I did everything I could. That I looked life square in the face. That I inspired and was inspired. I only want them to say these things if they're true, though.

3) Why do adolescent girls stand with one foot perpendicular to the other, hips jaunty, and arms crossed?
It's the womb; it develops lop-sided during puberty, creating a twisted posture, then straightens out in the early twenties. Also, it makes their arses look all pert. Lovely, sweet, adolescent female arses. Wait, did I say that out loud?

4) List and describe three pieces of music that can make you cry.
1. The overture to Tristan und Isolde. This was, in fact, the first piece of music ever to make me cry from the sheer emotional power of it. The "tristan chord" was revolutionary to Western music, and Wagner was a fucking master at manipulating his audience by delaying or denying a resolving chord. But more than that, the overture is the most perfect musical representation of aching sexual hunger and lovemaking, and there are seven - count them! - seven simultaneous orgasms contained within. God.

2. Right Where It Belongs, by Nine Inch Nails. I listened to it a fair bit just after I heard about my father's cancer, and it touched a very cathartic nerve. It begins distorted and distant, but halfway through, it switches to a clear sound underscored with the roaring of a crowd. Somehow it makes you feel surrounded and alone at the same time, and the suddenness of it forces a kind of inner release.

3. One little duck went out one day,
Over the hills and far away.
Mother duck said, "Quack, quack, quack, quack!"
And none of the five little ducks came back.

I forgot this nursery rhyme for many years. One day I heard my mother singing it as she hung out the laundry, and I wept. I don't even know why. Something about the brevity and transient nature of life, maybe.

5) If I come down to Harrisburg this fall, can we, like, jam?
I would be pissed off if we didn't! And you must be coming down to Harrisburg, since you're playing my wife in Henry IV, huzzah!

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