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Wednesday, November 24, 2004

The Department of Homeland Security are a bunch of incompetent buffoons.

Aside from all the other errors, misinformation and poor organization I have had to deal with, consider this:

This is my Green Card. They told me it would arrive in four months or so. It arrived in three weeks. I guess that's not such a bad thing, but do you notice something a little strange about the information on the card itself? Look closely now.

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THAT!!?!?!?! Never, NOT ONCE, in any of the forms that I have filled out, have I given them any reason to think I was born in fucking FRENCH POLYNESIA. I have never even BEEN to French Polynesia. Seriously - WHAT IN THE FUCK?

Are they hiring actual chimpanzees to do the data entry? First, they enter my father's name in the husband field, then they record that I was born in French Polynesia. You'd think that, oh, my AUSTRALIAN BIRTH CERTIFICATE and the fact that I state on every form I have ever filled out for them that I was born in AUSTRALIA and am an AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN would lead them to believe that maybe AUSTRALIA might be my country of birth.

So, I called the USCIS to ask them what I should do. I have to fill out form I-90 and book an appointment to come IN PERSON to the Philadelphia office of the BCIS. Then I have to prove that it was the BCIS's fault so that I don't have to pay the $185 filing fee. So I have to bring copies of all my forms to show that I never entered "French Polynesia" in the country of birth field.

Basically, I have to drive all the way to fucking Philly, and wait in line for three hours.

This is ridiculous. And this is the Department of fucking Homeland Security. Even the woman on the help line said, "Whoops, I guess someone must have been asleep at the wheel." How secure do you feel?
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